one blackhole after another, or so it feels.

getting up early tomorrow to drive out to Vegas.

grandmother's memorial. 

i've been busy for the last week and a half but i've got to finally face it tomorrow. it hasn't been quite real yet but something tells me reality will be hitting right about the time we get on the strip. i want to be nowhere near the rest of my family right now. i'd rather just close up and shut off all my thoughts and emotions. i know that i have to go. i have to do this for closure. but i'm scared of what it's going to be like when i get back.

college is on the backburner of thoughts right now. i'll get to that later i suppose. i can hardly keep up with what i have as it is.

and a million other things, but for now, tomorrow is the hardest thing to face. i'll think about everything else after two p.m. tomorrow.